Lie to Me: Four Good Indicators of Likely “Untruth” in the Sales Process
My son keeps telling me about a new show called “Lie to Me.” Evidently the main character has the ability to tell when someone is lying and, often times, why he/she is lying. Facial clues, tone of voice, body language are all indicators for him. He’s a scientist with years of study behind his abilities, but he has a few “naturals” on his team. These are people who can come to similar conclusions with accuracy, but have no formal training. [An ex-girlfriend of mine used to say that she had the same ability—she could tell when men were lying because their lips were moving. (Sigh.)]
Anyway, it got me thinking about our abilities in the sales process to identify liars, half-truth-tellers, concealers and the most dangerous buyers of all (I think): the delusionally hopeful, whose greatest sin is that they lie to themselves first and then repeat it to us.
I don’t have science behind me and I’m wary of the pop-psychology world of body language interpretation, (“If he crosses his arms that means he is defensive”). I do, however, tend to think that there are some indicators when the conversation is not completely truthful and those hints are worth watching for…
When I hear these types of red-flags, I push. I think that a mixture of self-confidence, raw curiosity and authenticity can get you closer to truth, regardless if the person will tell you the truth or not. The biggest push of the three is raw curiosity—ask the questions that are uncomfortable. It always surprises me how often we don’t ask the questions that we know we should because we are afraid of the answer…as if by not asking the question, the answer doesn’t exist.
What liars have you seen? How do they show up and what are your strategies for dealing with them?
Interesting topic (and a pretty good show, if a bit facile)…
In the last 20+ yrs, I’ve been on both sides of the desk (being sold to and selling). I think that, to your point, buyers sometimes lie or live in a fantasy world where they have more power than they do. At the same time, the stereotype of a sales person will to say *anything* to get the sale is embedded in our culture.
When I was the buyer in an equation, I often found my internal lie detector going off when I worked with sales people. And after I had established I could not trust an individual, I didn’t have a great deal of guilt in limiting how much information I shared. I often caught my reps in small mis-truths but would not comment on them — negotiation is, after all, about power and knowledge, right?
There’s another character on the show, Lie to Me, who has taken a “vow of radical honesty” — a bit of comic relief, but also an interesting counterpoint. We all tell little lies (or lie through omission) to grease the wheel of social interaction. No one wants to be around the 100% honest person, because we don’t want to look in a perfect mirror of our behavior.
BUT, I think that the sales person who is willing to peel back the facade of salesmanship….show humanity, share a foible, acknowledge a weakness ….creates a completely different relationship than the super-slick cliche of a “sales guy.”
1I think that lying has to be more challenging now- In the digital world, verifying statements, finding independent confirmation of details and claims, finding consumer advocate and commercial advocate posting and reviews is getting easier by the day. Is it possible that lying will actually become an endangered species in the world of selling? For me, I believe that honesty is just smart and effective- because if you lie to get the business, then how will your organization lie to keep the business?
2