Comments on: Why are you doing this?

By: Tom Searcy

Tom Searcy — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 11:01:10 +0000

Jennifer,
Now you know a lot of it is in the how you ask, right? But, I would still push the provocation as a valuable part of the early qualification process. So many fishing expeditions are launched by prospect companies who are looking for a market price survey, or a stalking horse for the incumbent provider or just free consulting and intellectual property that as hunting organizations we have to protect ourselves. This protection comes with the assessment of intention and securing an honest answer requires some directness. The careful caution is absolutely spot on.

On big deals, I am not afraid of the provocation because the playing field of interest needs some leveling. Too often small companies look like Oliver Twist, with bowl in hand and doe-eyes looking up saying, “Please sir, may I have some more?” If the prospect is sincere in their interest rather than just fishing, the answer to the question should come to the lips quickly and with detail. However, as in the examples I offered, the interest is not sincere, then I feel no squeamishness at having cornered these time-wasting processes and called them out for what they are.

So- you and I are probably in the same place- careful on the how, but the need to make certain the investment is worth it by challenging the intention is probably not in question.

By: Jennifer Palus

Jennifer Palus — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 18:50:47 +0000

Ooh, you know that “why” is a hot-button issue for me. I agree with everything in your premise, but would still counsel avoiding the “W-word” in the conversation.

“Why” is chock-full of judgment. No matter how objective your inquiry, it sounds like you are challenging. And yes, I know you ARE challenging in this situation….but do you want to be right or do you want to be heard?

“Why did you…” is, in my experience, guaranteed to raise the hackles of 99% of adults —and it turns them into sullen adolescents. Maybe it’s baggage from parents or spouse, or maybe it’s just the seed of insecurity/guilt that we feel when we’re not sure we’ve made the right decision. Especially if the decision at hand is a poor one, you need to reduce the other person’s resistance to a new idea, not make him or her feel cornered.

I will never win a contest on diplomacy, but even I, a.k.a. Blunty McBlunterson, am very careful with “why.”

By: ESims

ESims — Wed, 02 Sep 2009 15:29:27 +0000

Great post and a wonderful suggestion.
I will be giving this more “direct” approach this week and track the outcome/answers. As always Thank You for such a informative post!

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Wed, 02 Sep 2009 01:14:32 +0000

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